About Me

Hi There!  I am so glad you stopped by!  I started writing a couple years ago as a constructive way to channel my emotions at the prompting of my therapist.  One of my assignments after being in therapy for a year was to write an autobiography detailing all the significant and/or traumatizing events I had experienced over the course of my life.  And this is when I had an astounding revelation…

God had not just played a cruel joke on me by giving me this life after all!  She had knowingly arranged for a bunch of stupid shit to happen to me knowing that one day I would write it all down and recoup my therapy costs.  How did I know this?  Because if I read about this shit happening to someone, I would think it was hilarious, that’s why.  I WAS LEFT AT A GAS STATION WHEN I WAS EIGHT BY A CAR FULL OF PEOPLE THAT DID NOT SPEAK ENGLISH.  Not even making this up.  I ALSO ONLY HAD ONE BOOB.  Yep.  I PAINTED MY HUSBAND’S OFFICE HOT PINK WHEN I WAS PISSED AT HIM.  Calm down, I caulked and taped it so I am not like totally psycho.

Anyway, I used to be the quintessential woman.  Yes, I was pretty much incredible.  I took extraordinary measures to mask any perceived imperfections I had branded myself with despite my skyrocketing anxiety as I tried to maintain this facade.  Unfortunately, you missed that phase of my life but I assure you, I am much more relatable now. Welcome.  XO